It is already January 1st of a new year. I can hardly believe that another year has flown by and we have been in our new home for over three years now. It seems like only yesterday that my husband and I were scrimping and saving to come up with a down payment for our first home. I look back at the pictures of that house when we first bought it. It had been run down and neglected (in fact, my brother-in-law called it a “dump”), but we were proud as could be as we envisioned the changes we would make to turn it into our home.
It had been impossibly small for our family of five, but the smallness of the house had contributed to us becoming a close knit family. That happens when there are no extra rooms to “escape” in.
Lots of memories had occurred in that little house, some good and some bad. We had heated the small house with primarily wood from the forest on our land. The girls helped with the wood supply since they were big enough to pick up a chunk of wood. Indeed, we have pictures of them as toddlers with a small hammer hitting a wedge in a log, mimicking mom splitting a chunk, when they were too young for even preschool.
We had little money, in fact I was going to college and working full time while holding a part time job or two. My husband had lost his good paying job, and was struggling to find anything above minimum wage. All the good paying manufacturing jobs had moved out of the country thanks to ignorant government intervention encouraging exportation of American businesses and jobs.
We did very little extra other than keep our family fed and pay the bills. My husband and I had an agreement that if we couldn’t afford to give the kids something special (they preferred a movie, pop and something like pizza and wings) and pay a sitter, then we couldn’t afford to go out at all. Not surprisingly, we didn’t go out very often. Our expenses were actually minimal, and it was a good thing as it was a difficult time for us. We put a priority on our kids, but they knew that just because they asked for something didn’t mean they would get it. We shopped at yard sales out of necessity to keep them well clothed for school. Despite the restrictions our kids were always well fed and in reality didn’t want for a whole lot.
We knew that computers were becoming more and more of a necessity and were aware that our kids would be required to be familiar with them no matter what career path they chose. We couldn’t afford to purchase a computer, so my husband and I learned to build our own. We made a lot of mistakes, but my brother-in-law had extreme patience and tolerance as we called him frequently and often (yes, it’s worth repeating because we called him that much). As soon as internet was available in our area, we got connected and I began taking my college classes online. This allowed us to save money on gas and let me spend more time with the kids.
Eventually, burning the candle on both ends caught up to me … I was just tired. I didn’t sign up for classes and looked for something with better pay so that I didn’t have to work multiple jobs. After awhile I ended up with a job that I really liked just a few minutes from our home. It didn’t have as good of pay as I had wanted, but the hours were excellent and I really enjoyed my work. I was also able to continue my classes and finally graduated college… the first in my generation. My husband was very proud of me, he had said that if I started that I had better finish. It had taken a long time, but I had done it. My children watched me get my diploma and I know, as a result of my struggles, they understood the importance of getting an education.
My husband had started attending college as well, and through his classes ended up getting a very good job that he really liked. While he considered completing his degree, he decided that he was doing what he wanted to do and there was no point in continuing at this time. For the first time since we were married, my husband was happy in his work. It was very good to see.
I was promoted and moved to a different department; however it meant a longer drive. In fact, we both had pretty long drives, but my husband’s work was twice as far away as mine. We had been fixing up our home and it was really starting to look nice. We had considered expanding the house to make it bigger, but decided that we really needed to move closer to our jobs. We began searching in earnest and our house went on the market. We had done so much work to it that it wasn’t recognizable as the one we originally moved into. It now had a charm to it, and when it hit the market we had an offer fairly quickly.
We had a rougher time finding a house that suited us. We had wanted land but in our price range we ended up with two choices: plenty of land with a trailer or house in really bad shape -or- no land and a nice house. My husband finally talked me into letting go of having land, and we were able to locate a beautiful home that was just outside of a small town about equal distance from both of our jobs. It was on the high end of our price range, but the house was stone and a lot bigger than we had planned. After a bit of bartering we settled on a price and after a few snags both houses closed within hours of each other, just in time for the girls to start the new year at their new school.
We had been through so much, that all of the changes all at once made it seem almost like a dream. I accepted a job in my field of study, resulting in a pay increase. While our income had increased, so had our expenses. So we still had to watch our spending and be mindful of our budget; however, for the first time we were able to splurge once in a while. Our kids are able to, for the first time, get first hand school clothes instead of relying entirely on hand-me-downs and yard sales. The hubby and I could afford to go out occasionally on dates without feeling guilty. When our water pump died on us, we were able to have it replaced immediately without wondering how we were going to be able to put food on the table, too. Life has changed drastically for us, but it didn’t happen overnight. It took us a long time and a lot of hard work and tenacity to get us where we are today.
If you are considering going back to college because you’re tired of struggling just to put food on the table, or if you are working towards your degree and feel that you’ll never make it, my advice to you is to just keep going. It takes a long time and it is a difficult road to travel, but you will make it and it is worth it. When you finally reach your goal, not only will you have a huge sense of accomplishment, but you will have set a very good example for your children.
