Hair… sometimes it is the bane of a woman’s existence. Thick, dark, coarse, very obvious hair on the legs, feet, bikini area, upper lip, chin, between the eye brows, even the arms, hands and toes. We hate excessive hair. Excessive meaning if it’s not on the top of our head or on our eyelids.
There are tons and tons of hair removal treatments out there and they promise miraculous results. The truth is, it’s either painful, hazardous, or doesn’t work.
My mother told me that as a teen, she used a candle to burn off the hair. Simply wave the flame near the offending hair until it sizzles the hair away. Yeah, it sounded simple enough; after all, I’ve singed the hair off chicken carcasses during butchering many times, so I understood the concept. My recommendation… just don’t do it. I tried and ended up with a couple of nice burns to remind me never to do it again. That was one of the more stupid things I’ve tried.
Hair removal creams, yeah, those are another flop. Apparently I have super hair, because I leave it on for the maximum time allowed and yes, I have gone past the time. It makes my hair brittle and eventually it does break off (above the surface, I’ll add) and my skin has this lovely chemical peel glow to it afterwords with a numb, I’m recovering from novicane, feel. Not pleasant and very ineffective.
Waxing, now there’s an experience all by itself. I’ve tried the hot and cold wax methods and they’re equally painful. My kids used to sit chuckling in the other room as I hogged the bathroom for a few hours, screaming in agony every time I worked up the courage to rip a strip of hair from my body, often accompanied by chunks of flesh and blood. Yes, this is a really pleasant experience, if you’re a bystander…
Razors, ah… the old standby that picks up all the pieces when everything else fails. How many of us have gone to a dress up affair with lovely clean shaven legs and a bandage to cover the gash that refused to stop bleeding? Within a few hours you have this lovely stubble that can compete with your husbands face. Razor’s work, the effect simply doesn’t last. Have you ever been in a hurry, noticed you missed a patch, grabbed the razor and dry shaved? Yeah, that’s an experience that you remember for a couple days…
How about the little emory board hair remover that claims to be “pain free”? Just rub that hair away. Yeah, it fails to mention that the hair has to be 3 inches long and in patches to be effective. It rolls the hair into little balls that twist off. My husband sniveled a lot as I ripped the stubborn little balls of hair off his back. Other than his loud hollering it was pretty pain free. Ladiess, unless you’re willing to wait for your hair to be thick and long, this isn’t the removal tool for you.
Tweezers, now tweezers really are a girl’s best friend. A good pair of tweezers in your purse when you’re at work or a party and notice that one little 5 inch hair that somehow managed to escape three weeks of pruning and was now waving to the world to announce it’s existence. Yeah, I’d like to see a diamond pluck that offending hair that is intent on ruining your day.
My personal favorite is the epilator, or as I lovingly call it “the-hair-ripper-outer-thing”. I have to tell you, while it didn’t solve my hair issue – it has made dealing with it a little easier. I plug this little clawing tiger, run it over dry skin (yes, this is important if you don’t want a nice little brush burn) and let it do the work. Some women think the-hair-ripper-outer-thing is too painful; I say try waxing first, you’ll think this baby is a cake-walk.
Ideally, you should shave about two days before you intend to use the-hair-ripper-outer-thing for the first time. Then I recommend putting that baby on high and running it one time over your legs. I kid you not, it’s going to hurt like hell. The amazing thing occurs when you run it over the consecutive times – no hair, no pain. To prevent massive pain sessions, run the-hair-ripper-outer-thing over your legs, arms, pits, toes, chin on a daily basis. It picks up the majority of the hairs that manifest and amazingly there is very little pain at all. If you want it to be sheer agony, let the hair grow a bit longer… then it’s comparable to waxing.
Whatever method you choose, sadly it seems that it’s a life-time task. The next time your husband or boyfriend mentions your hairy legs, take an epilator to his back or wake him up to a nice strip of wax being ripped off his leg. That should put a permanent end to the criticism…
